Silly
by SilverSun4
Summary: Silly.     That's what she felt as she slowed her car down and parked outside his building.


Silly.

That's what she felt as she slowed her car down and parked outside his building. She started to hesitate as she gripped the steering wheel tightly. Seriously, drive all this way just to chicken out. She laughed at herself as she suddenly felt stupid for thinking that this spur of the moment plan would even work. Four months of nothing, no contact what-so-ever and then one phone conversation. That was no sign of anything, really.

But, maybe it was. Maybe nothing changed at all which is a contradiction cause everything did change. She is not the same person she was and he is three million miles away. Now she's just exaggerating. She looks down at the crumpled piece of paper. The piece of paper she memorized a long time ago. One that has been crumpled and thrown away only to be retrieved later before the trash was taken out. One that has been ripped up into pieces and then taped back together again in fear that if it was gone, she would forget.

564 S. Hampton Drive #2

She knew it by heart. It appeared in her inbox one day, shortly after she called off her wedding.

_Just thought that this might come in handy for you one day. _

_Love, Phyllis _

She thought about Phyllis. She didn't have to say anything other than that. She knew what Phyllis meant. She needed time. Time to tie off loose ends, time to figure out what she needed and what she wanted, time to become a person of her own.

She took a deep breath and turned off the ignition. He's probably asleep. She didn't think this through enough. He was bound to be asleep. They had talked for about an hour. She stopped at the store on her way home; she needed milk and toilet paper. She got home at about 7:30 and it took her about 5 minuets before her mind was made up and she was back in her car.

Thankful at that moment she decided to go for the built-in navigation system in her new car. Her dad thought it was a good idea, she was always getting lost. She found the paper in her purse, quickly typed in the address and hit 'Go'. She had to stop an hour in to get gas. She nearly turned around there but there was something in her heart that wheeled her to continue on.

It was over 3 hours later. She knew that this logical thinking, maybe it was illogical, was stalling. It was almost 11 pm and a work night. He was bound to be asleep. But, really…drive home another 3 hours…that probably wasn't a smart idea. Maybe she would just sleep in her car and drive home in the morning. Now, that was a dumb idea.

She looked at the building. A row of town homes, all connected together. She saw #2, the second one from the end on the left. She saw the light on upstairs. Maybe he was awake. She took a deep breath. It was now or never. She knew what she needed to do. She knew what she needed to tell him. She was ready.

She opened up the car door and stepped outside. The fall air was crisp and she could see her breath in front of her. She was suddenly regretting not coming more prepared. She didn't bring a jacket. She didn't bring anything.

She rang the door bell. She waited about a minute. There was no answer. She contemplated just turning around and leaving. Obviously if he didn't answer by now it's because he didn't hear the door bell ring and then she could leave without him ever knowing. But, that was not why she was here. She was not here to ring the door bell and turn around and leave before giving herself a chance, giving him a chance, giving them a chance.

She rang it again. Within seconds she could hear the foot steps coming toward the door. This was it. There was no turning back from this moment. She could feel herself starting to shiver from the cool breeze. The door opened and he looked about as shocked as she did to see her standing there. His mouth agape, standing their in his pajamas, no words came out.

She spoke first.

"Hi," she said shyly, nervously rubbing her hands together.

"Pam," he said stunned, at a loss for words.

She didn't know what to say. She looked down at the ground. Her confidence seemed to slip away. No matter how much she changed over the last few months, her insecurities started getting the best of her. She stared down at his bare toes peeking out from the bottom of his baggy blue and gray plaid pajama pants

"I'm sorry to show up here unexpected. It's just after we got off the phone I just couldn't stop thinking about you and that I had to see you and that there is so much that I need to say to you."

"Pam," he said again reaching for her hands and taking them in his. She looked up at him again, and there it was in his eyes; familiarity, comfort, and most of all love. The next thing she knew her lips were on his letting everything that she was scared to say be said with her lips. Their hands remained clasp together and when she pulled away she could see the small smile that was his lips were starting to form.

"I just needed to, once."

He couldn't contain his smile any longer. He laughed while he sighed what seemed to be a sigh of relief. He pulled her into his arms. "It's freezing out here. Do you want to come in for some tea?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

He pulled away from her slightly and leaned down to kiss her. It was a simple kiss, but it meant so much more. As he broke the kiss he reached down to grab her hand and led her into his house.

Suddenly, she didn't feel so silly anymore.


End file.
